I would like to say thank you so much to you for amazing comments to my last post, for sharing such honest stories I am sure that other people in similar situations will get much from your stories, as do I.
I will be open and share some direct experiences for you also. Yes we have had many challenges ourselves with our relationship and being together, but when we talk about it and how we have managed not only to be together so often (and not because we have money) and keep our relationship alive and healthy we find a few very important key things we have done and continue to do.
We always need Hope
We have found that one important key to have when you are apart is hope! We have always had definite plans in place to be together again, even if we cannot say the exact dates we have always had our future plans in front of us. We will always plan that either I will go to Australia or he will come to Thailand in so many weeks. Yes we have to be flexible because of work and family but you know what this does is always gives us hope. The hope is we know that being apart is temporary and that we are both working towards being together again and building our life together. Hope is such a basic need for humans in many ways and for many reasons and love is no different. If we lose hope then life becomes so difficult but when we have hope it gives us the strength to carry on.
The other thing we have found is so essential is to take action on your hopes and dreams. I know this can be easy to say and not so easy to do and believe me we have our challenges toomoney, family, work and a while ago even the troubles we had here in Thailand made taking action on our plans difficult. But here we are again together and it is down to our determination to take action on our plans, make them real and not just dreams and things we talk about. It sounds simple I know and it is not always easy, you need to be brave sometimes and take a risk or two. But we always say to ourselves what is love for if we are not prepared to act on it and take a risk for it.
Does Absence really make the heart grow fonder?
Well this is not an easy one for sure. Yes it certainly can make the heart grow fonder because it stops us from becoming too lazy about our love. We don’t get the chance to get into a routine because we are always longing to be together and if both are happy to express themselves then it can be very romantic sending messages, videos and letters to each other dreaming of how we will feel when we are together again. The danger is if we allow ourselves to feel to separated from each others lives, if we don’t care enough for the others feelings that they can easily feel jealous, or simply not loved even though this maybe completely innocent and accidental. we must always remember how the other may feel if we do not contact each other for a while or if we are busy with our own lives. This can create space between two people if we are not careful.
Does Culture make any difference being apart?
Although there are many things that cultural differences can make in a relationship I have not found this has any real effect on being apart. Maybe just that our lifestyles may be a little different in our own countries so it is sometimes hard to imagine each others day to day lives. But this is why I think taking action and being together as often as possible is so important.
For me if two people love each other then it really does not matter about culture or language. The problem with being apart is simply that..being apart distance. We cannot just give each other a hug and say its all ok when we are feeling down. We cant just share normal life things together like eating dinner, watching a movie or going shopping and this togetherness is what we all crave as humans.
Maybe this sounds too simple and romantic but if it is really love then love will find a way for us to be together if we keep strong in our belief. Do everything we can to keep watering the tree of love everyday and do everything we can to be together as often as possible until it becomes reality and permanent in some way. This is life and sometimes to get what we want may mean some discomfort, some challenges and some pain, but if we take the time to really enjoy and experience the good and the bad then it is all worth it.
For me love really is worth it.
I wish all of you who experience similar situations chok dee and please feel free to share your ideas, stories good and bad with me as I love to learn how to help in some way.