I would like to get back to talking about relationships again this week because yesterday I caught up with some friends and had some interesting conversations about age and marriage. It was a lovely day actually as I had lunch with some girl friends and then dinner with another friend because in Bangkok I like to do as much in a day as possible as getting around this City can take a lot of time if you are not careful because of traffic.
So I had lunch at a beautiful restaurant called Music Square which is on the Mahidol University Campus, Music Department. I then headed back to Bangkok Central and had a dinner with my friend at the Mall Shopping Centre.
Interesting with my friend over dinner when she told me that she feels bored with her husband. She still loves him but doesn’t have as much feeling anymore and just feels bored. Now she is still same age group as me early 40s, she has a child of 8 and a reasonably good lifestyle so you would think not too much to complain about really.
What is interesting about her story also is that her and her husband were just boyfriend and girlfriend for 13 years before they got married. This is perhaps longer than normal when you consider that people from the City, meaning mainly Bangkok tend to get married after they finish University. In fact it seems that we are following Western Culture here also as from what I have read and heard now in Bangkok people are getting married later, more like 25, 26 and once they are more established in work and financially settled.
This also seems to apply to Thai women from Bangkok who are much more financially independent themselves today and so less reliant on finding a man for financial reasons.
Things are still the same in the Country areas as they have been for a long time where it is common for couples to get married much younger because they tend to finish education much earlier and start work. In some cases it is not uncommon for girls as young as 16 to get pregnant and for the couple to get married at that age. But in the City it is almost a rule that you must finish University first.
Now the situation with my friend feeling bored made me think about a few things really. First that it shows that it really doesn’t matter when you get married after you meet someone because I know people who have gotten married quite quickly after meeting and some like my friend who have taken a lot longer to get to know each other well first and it really doesn’t seem to make any difference on whether people stay together or not.
But what about if you are much older? For example it seems that when we hit 40s our attitudes change about life so is boredom more to do with age or her relationship or a bit of both perhaps. I understand it is not uncommon for people to make major life changes around this age whether it be a change in relationship status, changing careers or even moving to another City or even another Country. It does seem that when you look at the statistics in divorce and separation so many occur around this age. So it makes me wonder about my friend is it co-incidence that she is feeling bored with her marriage now as she enters her 40s.
What do you think? I would be interested to know.
Do you think it is better to take longer to get to know a person before you marry or if you feel it is real love then just do it?
And what effect do you think age has on a relationshipwhen we hit the 40 age bracket do you think this changes things in a relationship or not?
As always I love to read your comments so please feel free to share your thoughts as this is how we all learn.