When I started the university it was a tough situation for my parents because just a couple years later my sister started hers too and both of us needed money at almost the same time.
It was a sudden and huge move for me. I had never had to leave my home that far for my whole life and never had the opportunity to stay in Bangkok all by myself. Bangkok; the city of colorful, wealthy, and civilization as the idea from an innocent teenager like me. Ahh…now I can do anything without my parents eye sight, and I felt like I was an adult who could live their life and didnt have to let somebody else have control over me.
The beginning was rough, I spent 1st and 2nd year in the University at Salaya, Nakhon Pathom about 15-20 minutes distance from Bangkok. I didn’t do well in those years and almost got expelled, everything was out of control. I was too lazy to go to class or study as I should have, it didn’t have anything to do with partying or anything like that. The internet chatting online was so alluring; much more than going to class, so every time when other people would go to class I would tie myself to the computer room or the library all day. Chatting non-sense with somebody on the other line and talking on the phone days and nights (it was like an illusional person being). It cost me so much when I started to realized all the consequences of wasting my time, money on the telephone bill (and that from my parents working so hard), and the failure in my education.
The 3rd and 4th years I moved to Bangkok because of all the clinical classes. Life in Bangkok was totally different than Salaya. I found out there was nightlife out there that I had been missing and I really enjoyed it (I think because I never had the chance to do something like this when I live with my parents). I would go out and party almost every weekend. While I also realized if I wanted to finish and graduate the same time as all my other friends then I better work harder. It seemed like the actions speak louder than word for me, I didnt do what I would have told myself was necessary again and again. Finally I barely did it. And I got my first job as a nurse at one of the public hospitals in Bangkok. I worked there for almost a year and had to move on to the private hospital because I didnt like to work rotating shifts and I realized I wanted something more in my life.
I never had an actual boyfriend since I can remember, all were just a short relationship and this was even up until later when I was ready to get married. My father was always strict about who will come to our house and who I was talking to. I remember my first puppy love when I was in high school my dad would sit there while I was on the phone and listen to the whole conversation between me and him, it was so embarrassing. And he would open my mail too when somebody would mail something to me. So that didnt work out well at all.
Thai guys werent really my type, so that being the case, to have a farang as a boyfriend was one of the reasons to move on to the private hospital. Surprise surprise you would not believe that many people out there who work in the private hospital will have the same idea as me (not always though, but most likely). Unfortunately I’m not most farangs type and it was very rare to meet the patient, to go out, and to date with it seemed impossible to happen. At least I was accomplishing my goal to do what I like; such as no more rotating shifts and practicing my English skill.
The internet dating site was introduced to me by one of my co-workers. There were so many times it didnt end up the way I wanted. Most of them were not looking for a serious relationship and just looking for a one night stand (which I hate so much). I always wanted to get married when I was young and almost gave up on it until I met my husband. Find out more after that in “Sawasdee Kaa”.
I pretty much had a bitter childhood life and there are not many good things I really want to remember about it. I believe that whatever the parents create in the kids’ childhood will affect their life in the future, although it also depends on the kids themselves somewhat; if they will learn something while they are growing up or not.